It pains me to inform our devoted followers that at the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour Pete has had to delay his departure with the rest of the chaps due to a need to mow his lawn, he has also neglected to remember an appointment with his nail technician and because Sainsbury's are doing two for one on various vegetables and Mr Kipling cakes this Saturday. We do, of course, fully understand Pete's position and wholeheartedly hope that he enjoys his extra portion of carrots as much as we'll enjoy springtime Parisian hospitality on Saturday afternoon.
Meanwhile, Neil gets to grips with his alter ego...also known as... err... Neil. There seems to be a slight issue with which of the aforementioned 'Neils' is a) able to imbibe the most pints of Pedigree, b) the most fun to spend a night with and c) can most ably turn an Ikea table into an elaborate French rococo Chippendale armoire. So far the concensus is with the £11.99 blow-up version.
Oooh, excitement abounds... we leave in seven hours... we leave behind those we love... and of course Pete who will be joining us in La Rochelle on Tuesday. Also on that day we will be sharing a pint with Barak Obama, doing the 'Bring me sunshine' dance with a resurrected Eric Morcambe and going to a lap dance bar with Gordon Brown who will just so happen to be accompanied by the Dali Lama and Collene Nolan who now apparently appears thrice nightly on 'Asian Babes', Sky channel 950 (Collene... not the Dali Lama, that is).
We take the p**s but sincerely hope that 4 become 5 on Tuesday... we hold our breath.
I am pleased to report that Reidy has secured sponsorship for his panniers by Fisher Price and he belatedly sends out a plea for assistance from anyone prepared to follow him on tour in order to help him lubricate his chain every five miles. Don't all rush at once...
To infinity and beyond... well, from Ashbourne to Barcelona and back again :)
Wonderful!! Understand the I'tie has already tried to surrender by "running out of petrol" as he called it. Onwards and upwards boys! Lots of love, heart broken of Idridgehay.xxxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteLubricate his chain!!! Is that a euphemism for “pulling his pudding” or “wetting his whistle”. Anyway, I can see why there isn’t much help being offered for the first option. Remember gents, shiny side up! Enjoy and also don’t forget the sun tan lotion!!
ReplyDeleteA prepared quote from a Mr P Robinson, Hollington, taken from a Mr Jake Blues, Chicago, on his reasoning for not attending this year’s tour….No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas! I--I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my bike! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!
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